That Awkward Moment (Things That Are Funny)


Here are a list of some miscellaneous funny things you can amuse people (yourself) with!

Funny or Cool. (Some will overlap, but I’ll just put them in “cool.”)

According to legend, a laugh increases your life by 5 seconds, so unless you’ll get weird looks, feel free to laugh!!

Funny

  • Things That Aren’t Words: That Awkward Moment. You’ll catch on. www.thatawkwardmoment.net
    • That awkward moment when you spell a common word correctly, but it just looks so wrong that you stare at it forever, questioning its existence.
    • That awkward moment when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it octopus.
    • That awkward moment when someone says, “Happy birthday,” and you say, “Thanks—you too!”
    • That awkward moment when you open the closet looking for Narnia and find a door to Monsters, Inc., instead.
    • That awkward when you read the word ‘moment’ even though it really wasn’t there.
    • That awkward moment when Waldo and Nemo turn out to be on vacation together.
    • That awkward moment when the police ask Waldo’s mom why she’s never filed a missing persons report
    • That awkward moment when you realize you’re chewing on a borrowed pencil
    • That awkward moment when you look both ways down a one-way street
    • That awkward moment when the chain-mail murderer can’t kill anyone because everyone stopped reading after “Don’t read this!”
    • That awkward moment when you go to watch a fight, and a hockey game breaks out.
    • That awkward moment when you’re typing without looking at the screen, then you look up and find out you haven’t typed a thing
    • That awkward moment when Microsoft Word informs you that your name is spelled wrong
    • That awkward moment when you put your phone on ‘airplane’ mode and throw it into the air but it doesn’t fly
    • That awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you
    • That awkward moment when you are singing Happy Birthday but you don’t know the name of the person so you just mumble at the name part
    • That awkward moment when someone asks, “Have you two met?” and you reply “No” while the other person says “Yes.”
    • That awkward moment when you learn something neat in class, and try to share it with a friend later, only to remember afterwards that she was in the class with you
    • That awkward moment when someone yells at you for clicking a pen but you have to click it one more time to use it
    • That awkward moment when you think something is hilarious but nobody else seems to know what you’re talking about
    • That awkward moment when you’ve been saying “human bean” for your entire life instead of “human being”
    • That awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree.
    • That awkward moment when you slip while reading a “floor slippery when wet” sign
    • That awkward moment when you turn 11 and don’t get a letter from Hogwarts
    • That fail moment when you trip on the battery cord and do this weird hop to save your laptop from eternal destruction.
    • That fail moment when you name a file “cnkdfln” and your computer says a file named “cnkdfln” already exists
    • That fail moment when Tumblr spell-check considers the word ‘Tumblr’ to be misspelled
    • That fail moment when you can’t fall asleep because you keep thinking about falling asleep
    • That fail moment when you try to slam a revolving door
    • That fail moment when there’s a fly on your computer screen and you try to scare it away with your computer mouse.
    • That fail moment when you realize you’ve been pronouncing “tree” as “chree” your entire life
  • Have you ever wondered…
    • who the first person was who looked at a cow and thought, ‘I’m going to squeeze these dangly things under its stomach and drink whatever comes out’?
    • Have you ever wondered who the first person was who looked at a chicken and thought, ‘I’m going to eat the next thing that comes outta its butt’?

Cool

  • Ampersand. The shape of the character (&) predates the word “ampersand” by more than 1,500 years. In the first century, Roman scribes wrote in cursive, so when they wrote the Latin word et, which means “and,” they linked the e and t. Over time, the combined letters came to signify the word “and” in English as well. Certain versions of the ampersand, like that in the font Caslon, clearly reveal the origin of the shape.The word “ampersand” came many years later when “&” was actually part of the English alphabet. In the early 1800s, school children reciting their ABCs concluded the alphabet with the &. It would have been confusing to say “X, Y, Z, and.” Rather, the students said, “and per se and.” “Per se” means “by itself,” so the students were essentially saying, “X, Y, Z, and by itself and.” Over time, “and per se and” was slurred together into the word we use today: ampersand.(The ampersand is also used in an unusual configuration where it appears as “&c” and means etc. The ampersand does double work as the e and t.)
  • Scientific experiments indicate that sound symbolism is at play in word formation. In determining the Bouba/Kiki Effect, people from cultures around the world were asked to identify a spiked shape and a round shape with the name Bouba or Kiki. 90% of people identified the spiky shape as Kiki and the round, blobby shape as Bouba.
  • Did You Know…
    • There are about ten million bricks in the empire state building.
    • Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump.” Dr. Seuss coined “nerd.”
    • Mosquitoes are attracted more to blue than any other color.
    • Almonds are in the peach family. The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.
    • Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula” and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, “L.A.”
    • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
    • Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
    • When a giraffe’s baby is born it falls from a height of six feet, normally without being hurt.
    • There are more chickens than people in the world.
    • Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
    • When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a two-way mirror?? Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, for it is a two-way mirror.
    • If you were to spell out numbers (e.g., o-n-e, t-w-o, t-h-r-e-e), you’d have to go to one thousand before you found the letter ‘a’.
    • If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
    • The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
    • In Massachusetts, it is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder
    • Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades – King David, Hearts – Charlemagne, Clubs – Alexander the Great, Diamonds – Julius Caesar
    • That the average citizen of the world is a Han Chinese 28-year-old man?
    • That peanuts are one of the ingredients to dynamite?
    • What about that Mozart wrote “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” when he was 5 years old?
    • Or that president William Taft got stuck in a bathtub and had to be pried out by 2 assistants?
    • Or that the longest inaugural address by a president was 1 hour 45 mins in a snowstorm and the president died of pneumonia?
  • He was Andrew Wilson. In 2004 he legally became ‘They.’ Now you know who the “they” is they’re always talking about…It’s just that guy Andy from Missouri. (And They talks a lot. Often, They has no idea what he is talking about. Example: “They say that wolves will always attack you.”)
  • http://strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/students.html…just check it out. You wouldn’t believe how stupid typos or confusions of facts can make you. Some examples:
    • “The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.”
    • “A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable.”
    • “Homer also wrote the ‘Oddity’, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.”
    • Many of the Indian heroes were killed, which proved very fatal to them.”
    • “Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.”
    • “Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are flaling off the trees.”
    • Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present…. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.”
    • France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened.
    • “The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. He reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.”
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